A beginner’s guide to strap-on sex

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How can you pick the best strap-on for you and your partner? What can you do with it, and how can you have a fun, hot, and safe experience? Take a look at our beginner’s guide to strap-on sex!

Consent is important

Before you buy a strap-on, you have to make sure that your partner consents to it. Not everyone is comfortable with sex toys. Bringing a strap-on into the bedroom without your partner’s permission could cause a lot of problems. 

Besides consent, you should have a long talk with your sweetheart to cover other important details. You could talk about the type of strap-on harness. Then, discuss how you want to use it. Will you wear the strap-on, or do you want your partner to use it on you? How big should the dildo be? Those questions will largely depend on your relationship and your turn-ons.

Pick out the harness 

Any toy that combines a dildo and a harness qualifies as a strap-on. You can use it for strap-on sex (anal or vaginal penetration), masturbation, pegging, oral sex, and more. This toy is usually sold as a kit that contains the harness and the dildo. But, you can buy the parts separately and assemble them on your own. That way, the giver can choose the most comfortable harness, and the receiver can pick their favorite type of dildo.

Generally, there are two categories of strap-on harnesses. That includes strap-style and underwear-style. 

The underwear-style harness consists of two parts: a dildo and an underwear-like harness. You can find several different panty styles (e.g., thongs or briefs). Most of them have a small cut-out you can use to secure the dildo. Alternatively, a strap-style harness attaches to the body via adjustable straps. It’s a bit more practical since you can leave your genitals or butt cheeks exposed. The straps are available in various sexy materials. That includes leather harnesses, spandex, nylon, etc.

Decide on a dildo 

As a rule, the receiver should always pick the dildo. That way, they can decide on the size, shape, and material that suits them the best.

However, any dildo that you get should be made of a body-safe material like silicone. For anal sex, you will need a toy with a flared base. Also, you could get a hollow dildo for oral sex or a vibrating strap-on for vaginal stimulation. If you don’t know which size to buy, try a strap-on kit with various sizes. 

Next, consider the look and feel of your toy. Not all receivers want a dildo that resembles a real cock. If so, you can find discrete non-phallic dildos. Some receivers also like fantasy dildos (tentacle, dragon, alien, etc.).  To make it easier, here is a collection of strap on dildos from lovegasm that you can check out. 

Get lube — and other sexcessories

Lube is non-negotiable for most types of penetrative sex. If you intend to use your strap-on for vaginal or anal penetration, you will need to use lots of lube. That way, you’ll eliminate friction from the toy and make everything go silky smooth. However, your new sex toy will not be compatible with all lubes. For instance, if you have a silicone dildo, you’ll need a water-based lubricant to avoid damage. 

Other sex accessories can improve your experience even further. Some strap-on harnesses come with a tiny pocket for bullet vibrators. Moreover, you could get a small dildo base cushion for extra support during penetration. Many wearers also love to use butt plugs. Ultimately, you could stock up on any accessory (e.g., cuffs or nipple clamps) that suits your sexual habits. 

Wear the strap-on around the house

It’s a good idea to pre-game and wear your strap-on around your home. Not all users will get the hang of this toy during their first time. We recommend you to wear it as much as possible before you have sex. It may seem silly, but wearing a strap-on while browsing the web, cooking, and doing other daily chores will give you more control over your toy. 

Watch strap-on porn

Obviously, porn is not an adequate substitute for education. Still, watching strap-on porn can give you some ideas on how to use your toy and what to do during sex. And if your partner is into it, you can watch strap-on porn to get turned on before sex. You can also tease each other and masturbate to strap-on porn. You’ll also be able to see all sorts of different strap-on types that could inspire you to find your ideal toy. 

Don’t forget condoms

Finally, condoms are a requirement. Using toys with a partner can put you at risk of spreading STIs. If you don’t know your or your partner’s STI status, you will need to prevent transmission with condoms. So slide the condom on before any kind of sex. If both of you want to use the dildo for penetration, be sure to remove the used condom and pop on a new one. The same applies if you want to swap holes and switch between the anus and vagina. 

The bottom line

We hope you’ve enjoyed our strap-on guide! Have fun picking out your new strap-on!

Garcia Muriel

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